The BAR Cycle And Compulsive Behavior

By Glen D. Williams

The BAR Cycle is a powerful method to understand what makes us do destructive things and to control these compulsions. The BAR cycle applies to addiction, abuse, eating disorders and other compulsive behavior. Based on the recovery rate, with the billions of hours devoted to addiction, abuse, eating disorders, phobias and other compulsive behavior, human motivation is clearly not an exact science. This article may not be for you if you're looking for graduate level book learnin'. But, if you're looking for the lessons learned over decades by a man battling his own destructive compulsions, read on.

My story includes chronic phobia, anger, self-loathing, addictions to alcohol, sex, drugs, food and cigarettes. These compulsions had predictable impacts on my careers and relationships, leaving me with only the family members who tolerated me and my partners in the "low life." In my 30's, with the help of God and Marsha (now my wife of 20 years), I began a long battle toward a life free of compulsion. I can't say I've totally arrived, but most of my fears and addictions are things of the past. What's left is an occasional bout of overeating and occasional sexual temptations...I'm guessing, much like everyone else. In my journey, I picked up a human motivation cycle from someone, and don't remember the book or author. What I do remember is how well the cycle applied to the cause and solution of every one of my compulsions. Since I don't recall the exact terms, I've come to call it the BAR Cycle. Addictions and compulsions. It's a tool for understanding why we do the things we do. Belief generates action that creates results that strengthen or weaken the belief.

Belief is what motivates all our actions. Beliefs about ourselves, our friends, our jobs, etc. If I told you your house was on fire and you didn't believe me, you would do noting. If you did believe me, you would take a different course of action. We can't continually act in a way that is inconsistent with our beliefs. This is why an anorexic is compelled to starve himself...he believes he's fat even when he isn't.

Action flows from belief. This is why we can't just change our actions and, say, not do it any more. Because an alcoholic believes he needs to drink to make up for a void he sees in himself, until that belief is changed, he won't be able to quit drinking on more than a temporary basis.

Results are the emotional feedback we get from the actions we take. These feed into our belief and either strengthen or weaken it. For example, if an alcoholic feels he needs a drink to build up his self esteem in certain situations, the act of drinking will generate emotional responses. He notices he was able to relax and not be so self-conscious while he was drinking. This reinforces his need for more alcohol, because it temporarily masks his self-esteem issue. Unfortunately, the guilt over having drunk too much and the realization that he "needs" to drink lowers his self-esteem even more, requiring more alcohol to get the same temporary relief. Obviously, we can't control results without changing the actions that generated them.

Using the BAR Cycle To Control Compulsion: In future articles, we'll apply the BAR Cycle to specific conditions, like anxiety, addiction, eating disorders, pedophilia, etc. For now, let's discuss how to use it to control compulsions, generally. The cycle starts with a Belief, which generates an Action that leads to emotional Results that alter Belief. In the case of harmful compulsions, the Cycle builds and strengthens a false belief, increasing the "need" for the action. Think of the BAR Cycle in terms of prison bars. Every time we go through the Cycle, we add another bar to our prison, locking us into destructive behaviors. Since we can't change Results without changing the Actions and we can't force ourselves to permanently change Actions without changing the underlying Beliefs, the only place we can break into the BAR Cycle and escape the prison is through Beliefs.

Our beliefs are made up of brain patterns from every experience we've ever had. Most of our controlling patterns happened so early in life we have no memory of it. This is why we often follow in our parent's footsteps, whether for the good or bad. The stronger the emotion attached, the more repetition of the thought pattern, the stronger the pattern, the stronger the compulsion. This is why, though I hated the behavior of my alcoholic father, I grew up to become an alcoholic, myself. These patterns are so reliable, $ Billions are spent each year to capture your thoughts, attach an emotion and program you to want a certain product. It's called advertising! It's no accident they use humor, sex or other emotions in the ads...emotions strengthen your brain pattern and your desire for their product. We can use this to our advantage in changing our own beliefs and controlling our compulsions.

Positive Thoughts To Change Belief Patterns: It's not easy...just possible! It begins by taking control of our thoughts...replacing weak, negative, destructive thought patterns with positive, uplifting, constructive ones. It may mean we have to shut off the News for a while and read an uplifting book, instead. Choose programs, movies, books and music that are uplifting and positive. Repeat positive affirmations in the present tense that change the way you see yourself (i.e. "I always make decisions that support a healthy mind and body." "I see and enjoy the positive side of every situation.") Spend less time with people who focus on the negative side of life. Fight off temptations to engage in compulsive behavior by redirecting your thoughts to more productive interests.

Positive Actions To Change Belief Patterns: Though we can't directly eliminate our compulsive actions, we can change our Belief by spending time in more positive actions. This can include hobbies, volunteer work, church and club activities, etc. These actions change our attitude by improving our self-esteem. Other actions that can improve what you believe about yourself are exercise programs, donating money to worthy causes, letting others go first, helping neighbors and strangers, tipping 30-50%, stopping at every lemonade stand and paying a dollar to the enterprising kid. Just developing the habit of picking up litter when you see it or paying the toll for the next car can do wonders for your self-esteem.

Over time, as we use the BAR cycle to change our beliefs about ourselves and our lives, the compulsive actions happen less and less often, until one day, we look back and wonder when was the last time we did that. I look back on who I was and it seems as if it was a whole other person. If you've been suffering from a compulsion of any kind, the BAR Cycle can be a new key to help unlock your prison and free you to the healthy, productive life you were made for.

Glen Williams is Webmaster for http://www.way2hope.org, founder and CEO of E-Home Fellowship (EHF), Inc. He has been helping people with family and life problems full-time since 1989. You can comment on his articles at Way2Hope Family Life Forums

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