A Different Slant On Raising Kids

By E. Raymond Rock

By bringing beings into this world, we selflessly give our children the opportunity to clean up their latent karma. When raising children, it is of the utmost importance that we, as parents, completely trust each other and work together on a single goal - to help both ourselves and our children clean up karma from the past. We can do this by being examples to each other, and to our children by living correctly. Living appropriately is far greater than merely talking about living properly. Living correctly is living in a way that will not burden anybody with additional karma so that all will someday be freed from inherent greed, hatred and delusion.

Watch carefully for signs of this greed, hatred, or delusion, and determine which of these is the dominant trait in your children, as well as in yourself. All of us are caught up in these three things, but one will stand out, and since children are so open and straightforward in their actions, it is easy to discern their main tendency.

Some children will display greed by being very competitive and ambitious, grabbing everything in sight. Others will tend toward hatred by being controlling and domineering, strongly disliking others. While some will be deluded, or susceptible to misunderstandings and illusory dreams without corresponding wisdom.

These are things to be understood, not criticized. They are entrenched habit patterns developed from many past lives and deeply ingrained. We must approach this compassionately with understanding, gently pointing out each negative trait so that the child can someday “see,” in his or her heart, their harmful tendencies. Only then will a change occur. It does little good to say, “Don’t be greedy”; it is much better to merely call attention to the greed, every time with consistency, and understand that these tendencies are deep seated and not solved easily.

Being selfless and loving means that we don’t criticize the child or ourselves, but rather recognize disruptive tendencies, and by using a balanced acknowledgment of the behavior without blame, we communicate a deeply registering affection to the child that over time will settle in the child’s heart. This is far better than impatient, excessive discipline, and will teach the child an important lesson at a deep level — how to be treated with love. For the constant, consistent, kind attention proves that we care, and that we understand, and that we don’t expect changes to be made overnight.

We must be as kind to ourselves as we are to our children. We always treat others as we treat ourselves, so our relationships with our children indicate how we relate to ourselves. We must keep our eyes open wide, always, and we must pay great attention to our children. They will notice, and as long as the attention is loving, consistent, and intelligent, the child will slowly grow in confidence, and in awareness of themselves.

Better than any formal education will be a child’s capacity to be aware without the fog of images clouding their minds. This is what good parents instill in a child; the courage to see clearly and not be easily influenced, either by peers or groups that wish to control their minds. The child that learns to be free, with the help of his or her parents, is a fortunate child indeed.

Our greatest achievement would be when our children touch that ecstasy beyond karma, that immense Reality that lies beyond our greed hatred and delusion; the goal of life.

Copyright © E. Raymond Rock 2007. All rights reserved

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com

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