4 Steps to Parenting a Happy and Successful Teen

By Maria Pascucci

Who says that parents can’t be the difference in their teenagers’ lives? If you’re looking for positive, practical ways to help your teen become happy and successful, read ahead …

1. You must help your teen think big!

“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” --Hodding Carter

Is your kid the next Shakespeare? Does he scowl when the relatives say, “So, you’re going to be a teacher” when he tells him that he wants to major in English Literature while in college? Did you ever imagine that he could become a greeting card writer/entrepreneur and market a brand new line of humor cards toward the big-hearted but less-than-poetic male species? He could build a media empire around a brand like that! If he ever gets that idea or an idea like it into his head, that is …

2. You must encourage your teen to have fun

“Getting there isn’t half the fun -- it’s all the fun.” --Robert Townsend

Between school, friends, extracurricular activities and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of their lives, being a teenager is no easy task. When I recently interviewed a 17-year-old for an article on school pressure, I asked her, “What’s your greatest worry with regard to grades?” She responded, “Probably my parents yelling at me. I have to work up to their standards.” Parents: Did you know that stress is the number one impediment to academic success? If you want your child to excel in school, encourage her to balance work with fun. Discourage her from overloading her schedule with too many activities and take that free time to relax. Read a book for pleasure, bike with friends or take the dog and go for a walk. This idle time will allow your teen to go back to her studies with renewed vigor and clarity. She’ll make some great memories in the process, too.

3. You must encourage your teen to love learning

“I've never let my school interfere with my education.” --Mark Twain

Any student who studies for hours to get straight A’s but doesn’t really ask herself why she’s working so hard is really doing a huge disservice to herself. Denise Clark Pope, author of Doing School says that kids need to be put through a series of reflective exercises that help them to look at the bigger picture. Parents can certainly aid in this process. Advice: Try sitting down as a family to answer questions like, “How do I define success?” “What do I think makes for a happy life?” “What do I want out of an education?” “What am I most proud of?” While getting good grades is important, encouraging your child to try new things and to take courses she really likes will go a long way in instilling her with a lifelong love of learning. That alone will carry her to success beyond her wildest dreams!

4. You must allow your teen to see you -- flaws and all

“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.” --Josh Billings

Can you remember the last time you leapt before you looked? How good it felt to meet a new challenge head on without your inner critic there to spread some cynicism and talk you out of taking that one great chance? We all get a few precious years when we’re young to be completely fearless simply because we don’t know any better. Then our own perfectionism prevents us from realizing true innovation. If you want your teen to ease up on himself, show him the way. Take a deep breath, face your demons and choose to ease up on yourself. Let your children see your flaws and, more importantly, let them see that you can laugh at your flaws. Perhaps the next time your teen faces a new challenge he’ll remember to emulate his one great fearless role model … you!

Maria Pascucci is the President of Campus Calm (http://www.campuscalm.com). She helps high school & college students achieve balance, reduce stress, increase self-confidence and gain perspective in our hectic, achievement obsessed world. Free reports for students, parents and educators available with subscription to Campus Calm Connections. Maria lives in Buffalo, New York with her graphic designer husband, Shaun, who shares the homepage of their personal writing/design website (http://www.creativetypeco.com). Contact her at maria@campuscalm.com.

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